Day by Day, Month by Month...

When I was pregnant with Hailey, I found the cutest monthly birthday stickers.  I immediately fell in love with the idea of sticking them on a onesie and putting Hailey through a mini photo shoot every month on the 15th.  Thankfully, I was given three months to do this with her.  Mike loved this moment with her as well.  The third month was one of our favorites because we were able to get some really funny facial expressions out of her.  H's personality was really beginning to shine at the end.

After Hailey passed, my sister came up with the best idea.  Why not continue our little sticker tradition, but attach the sticker to balloons and send them up to Heaven.  That was that.  Helen came over with 4 balloons (one even had her name on it) and Mike and I wrote her a little love note.  We went to her spot and sent them up to her.  We continued this tradition every month after that.  Some balloon releases were more difficult then others.  I remember at one, I couldn't let go of the balloons because it felt like I was letting go of her.  A lot of tears were shed and a lot of smiles were shared on our monthly balloon releases.  
This tradition of ours is something that I am so glad Mike and I did this first year.  It was healing and I love thinking that every month she received a bunch of balloons and a little love note from her mommy and daddy.

4 Months

5 Months

 

 6 Months

7 Months

8 Months

9 Months

10 Months

11 Months

The past 8 months brought waves of emotions.  Every major holiday was celebrated during this time. All of the things we had planned to do with Hailey, didn't get to happen.  Halloween came and went.  So did Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We celebrated Valentine's Day without our tiniest Valentine.  It wasn't an easy time, but we survived.  Mike and I came out stronger as individuals and as a couple.  Our lives continued and we were blessed with little moments of hope in the future that helped us continue on our journey.  As much as I missed having Hailey here physically with us during all of the big moments, I know that she was with us in spirit.  I feel her with me every day.  I see her in my dreams and hold her in my heart.  She calms me when I can't stop the tears and she laughs with me when I'm having fun.

She is my little Rae of sunshine that will always be there...even on the cloudiest of days.

Love,

Mary